Saturday, October 2, 2010

Aces Sign New Bob, Whip Wyse Guys Asses

The 2010-2011 COTHL season began with a victory for the Black Aces, who appear set to continue their domination of the regular season once again. As per the team charter, the Aces have secured the services of at least one Bob for this year, a tradition that dates back to the early days of the league in the 1930s. That year the black shirts cruised to overall victory with the help of Black Bob McNastyman, an out of work police officer (suspended for being too mean to the Irish residents of Cabbagetown, if you can believe it) with a laser-like wrist shot (this was in the days before slap shots. Or lasers, for that matter) and a mean-streak a mile wide. Black Bob wasn't actually black, his nickname referred to the colour of his eyes when he set his sights on his next victim. Also to his teeth. Dentistry wasn't yet much in vogue in 1930s Toronto, and Bob's British heritage pretty much ensured his status as 'dentally challenged'.

Since that season every Aces team has employed at least one Bob. This year's Bob is again a defenseman with a laser-like wrist shot, as shown by his 2 goal performance in the Aces' 8-3 demolition of the red shirted Wyse Guys squad.

Besides New Bob, the difference in Game One had to be goaltending. Aces keeper Raj C looked sharp all night long, while the red goalie looked... like the opposite of sharp. Some questionable goals early on led to a visible deflation of the red team, which only led to more goals from black, which led to lower morale on red, and so on. This in spite of a red team rolling what looked like 3 full lines versus 2-lines-plus-one on side black.

Other scorers, to the best of my recollection: Ralph with 2, plus one each for Mike, Aubrey, Rich, and Joe Two-Names.

A big welcome back to team sponsor Joe Himalaya, in town dropping off a load of tequila worms from his Mexican ranch. Joe is only around for a couple of weeks before heading back to the ranch, so make sure your sweaters are freshly cleaned and pressed next week, lads. We want to make sure we get good rates for the team Christmas party this year.

As a special 'welcome back' feature, your blog host is pleased to present a short inspirational video suggested by team owner and rolfing specialist Aubrey Spring: Life in the Beer League

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