In the last regular season game of 2009-2010, local hockey team Aubrey's Aces managed an efficient 4-2 victory over league rivals the Wyse Guys in spite of being down one key member of their defense corps. D-man and team bibliophile Al Heavenrich spent the entire game at home snoozing while his teammates were forced to take up the slack. While Aces defense are well-known for periodic naps during games, this is the first time they have attempted to employ the strategy away from the rink. At approximately 22:30h Heavenrich posted this apologetic email: "I was reading before leaving for the game and fell asleep... Woke up now! Aargh!" This of course would have been some 45 minutes after the official start time for the game (but in actual fact only 15 minutes after the puck was finally dropped). Team utility infielder Aubrey Spring was pressed into service, and the D managed to hold the Wyse Guys to a pair in spite of their own occasional displays of somnambulance.
A more or less full turnout helped power the Aces past their opponents, who were unable to keep pace with their younger, fitter, better-looking opponents. Plus, the blackshirts were pleased to welcome back Olympians Raj and Rich, which may have provided some additional inspiration.
Next week is game one of the playoffs. So remember to keep following your strict fitness regimen this week. All team members are expected to complete the following exercises prior to next wednesday:
Pushups: at least 3, but no more than 5
Situps: 5 full situps or 1 'crunch' (optional)
Curls: 10 reps, full tallboy each arm (acceptable substitute = 100 reps using a Coors light)
Yoga: No.
Anyone watching the full P90X infomercial is exempt from all requirements.
