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| We're getting slaughtered here! |
Operator: Emergency services, what is the nature of your emergency please?
Caller: Uh, hi, this is [redacted] of the Warriors over at Phil White arena. We're getting slaughtered here!
Operator: Did you say slaughter? Is there some kind of assault taking place sir?
Caller: Okay maybe slaughter is not quite right, but it's the middle of the second and we're down 2-0 to those punk-ass Black Aces.
Operator: Sir I'm going to have to ask you to watch your language.
Caller: What?
Operator: You said 'ass', sir. That is considered profane and/or abusive language under the terms and conditions of our collective bargaining agreement. If you continue to be abusive I will have to terminate this call.
Caller: What the fuck are you talking about?
Operator: *click*
* * *
Operator: Emergency services, what is the nature of your emergency please?
Caller: Yah, this is [redacted] again at Phil White Arena. I called just a minute ago. It's 3-0 now! Are you happy? We're getting killed!!
Operator: Sir, who is getting killed? Are you injured?
Caller: Oh Christ! They just scored another one! This is terrible! You have to send the cops over right now to take care of this shit!
Operator: Sir I'm going to have to ask you to watch your language.
Caller: Oh for fuck's sakes
Operator: *click*
* * *
Operator: Emergency services, what is the nature of your emergency please?
Caller: Listen, bitch, don't you know who I am? I'm [redacted] fucking [redacted] of the fucking Warriors hockey club! I am the captain of this fucking team!! If the cops aren't here in 5 fucking minutes I'm coming down there to personally stick your headset up your – oh hey, we just scored. Lemme call you back. *click*
* * *
Operator: Emergency services, what is the nature of your emergency please?
Caller: Are you happy now? Those black shirted bastards just beat us 5-2 and you assholes wouldn't lift a finger to help. This is all David Miller's fault. *click*
In other, unrelated 9-1-1 news, this apparently happened on the same day.
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