An unexpected convergence of player availability on the Aces' side led to extreme overcrowding on the bench. The Aces attempted to roll 4 lines and 6 defense, but the line-change algorithm proved to complex for the team to master.
"I had no idea what was going on out there" said team Pilates expert Aubrey S after the game. "The coach tried to explain the math behind the line changes before the game but all those quadratic equations made my eyes glaze over. I figured someone else would understand it but I guess not."
Game footage was unavailable at press time, but we do have an illustrative video of the chaos that took place at the Aces bench:
Several players apparently gave up on ever getting onto the ice and opted instead to start an impromptu poker tournament while waiting for their next shift. Injured winger Rich W stepped in to play the house and walked away with over $400 from a few hands of Texas Hold'em. "Looks like the Battlers weren't the only winners tonight" remarked Rich after the game, stuffing a huge roll into his jacket pocket. "Thanks, boys."
Team physicist and guest lecturer at Waterloo's Perimeter Institute Andrew T is currently hard at work on a simpler line-change formula. "Apparently my perfectly simple and elegant algorithm was 'too complicated' for the geniuses on the Aces" said an air-quoting Andrew "So I'll try make it easier to understand in case we ever get a full turnout again."
That seems unlikely given the rumoured retirement of Art W (starting a sheep farm in New Zealand), Paul F (dropping out of society to follow the band Down With Webster around the world on their upcoming tour), Raj C (opening an oyster bar on King Street W) and Joe Himalaya (opening a school for wayward teenage Mexican chambermaids at an undisclosed location). There should be plenty of room on the bench from now on, and the line change formula will probably not contain any irrational numbers or references to Planck's Constant.
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