Sunday, December 5, 2010

Hockey Leaks

From: North Korean Embassy, Toronto
To: Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il
Subject: North Korean Hockey Program
Security Level: Classified

Dear Leader, plan proceeding according to your most excellent wishes. Top secret spy program to secure secrets of Canadian hockey greatness will most definitely succeed!

Have found secret training camp for Canadian players of highest talent. Name: Cedarvale Old Timer Hockey League. Players very good, very fast. Team of Black Aces most dangerous of all teams. Demonstrate superior skills against Wise Men team with red shirts. Aces can last game defeat Wise Men so bad, they change name to Wise Girls! Scoring five for Aces zero for Wise team! Have secured film of game in new Super 8 style, and send to you quickly now!

Next game in 3 days, all operative in place to kidnap Black Aces team and transport back to Democratic People's Republic of North Korea to train DPRK national ice hockey team. Have injected after game alcoholic beverages with powerful sedative (English name: 'roofies') for easy and problem-free roundup.

Also B Plan ready! If Aces team lose next game then roofie dose double and Aces fly instead to DPRK Army Good Time Soldier Recreation Camp for train as comfort boys.

Also, top secret - Defending player and blog typist Jeff M not playing next game. Instead attend decadent rock music show of Italian-American guitar player Joe Satriani. Not matter. Other defense player can learn to give away puck too.

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