Tragically, Hip.

To a now long list of players retired from the illustrious ranks of the Black Aces Hockey Club we must sadly add the name Andrew Tarch. Andrew, MIA in the previous couple of games, reluctantly turned in his game jersey on wednesday and announced his retirement from the team due to the onset of arthritis in his hip.

Andrew left the door open to a return to the ice after completing the recommended physiotherapy, but for now he is officially on the permanent DL.  In the meantime Andrew will be free to enjoy his retirement by sailing his yacht, wearing sweater vests and taking loads of Cialis. His wife could not be reached for comment.

In an emotional tribute to Andrew's contributions to the team over the years, team mixologist Ralph R took a 6 minute shift in the 3rd period.

In other news, the Aces fell 5-2 to the Warriors in spite of the white team being without several of their star players. The Aces also were down a few bodies and essentially ran out of gas in the 3rd, allowing a 2-2 tie to slip away from them.

"I thought we needed just one more player out there" said team luthier Gerry S after the game. "Like, say, a rangy left winger with good speed sort of like that guy who retired tonight. What was his name again? Right, Andrew. Something like that guy."

Part time goaltender and team dry goods specialist Aubrey S. spent the night between the pipes, filling in for regular and league all-star Raj C. A solid game was not enough however. Some unlucky bounces combined with a tired squad and that was that. Aces players had to console a dejected Aubrey after the game by reminding him that the loss was not his fault, but primarily the fault of Andrew for retiring just when his team needed him most. Andrew's jersey was ceremonially burned in the parking lot after the game and doused with two tall boys of leftover Bavaria beer from 8 weeks ago.

Please also note that in case of a municipal strike (and the termination of the season due to lack of facilities staff at Phil White Arena) next week's game will be held at Ferro's. Equipment optional.

Fuck you, Cedarvale Oldtimers's Hockey League!