Sunday, February 8, 2009

Aces Lay a Bleaching on the Warriors

Wednesday February 4th saw the Aces HC return to their first place form as they put a serious hurt on a befuddled Warriors sqaud. After giving up 2 goals in the first minutes of the game, the Blackshirts settled down to some disciplined hockey, storming back with 8 goals before the final buzzer mercifully sounded.

Highlights of the game were the exuberant and creative celebrations the team mounted after each tally. This was a sore point for the losing white team, but the Aces would not be denied. A lovely tip-in by Bruce H in the first period was followed by an end-to-end sprint with a quadruple lutz right in front of the white bench, all the while urinating over their heads and whistling God Save the Queen. Newcomer Brian potted one and surprised his new teammates with a specially made neon sign aimed at the opposing bench. The words 'SUCK IT, BITCHES!' flashed on and off in time with Queen's 'We Are the Champions' as played by a band of circus monkeys. Al H bagged a lovely point shot in the 2nd and celebrated by killing (with a crossbow) and eating a wild boar at centre ice. He had apparently been keeping the boar in his pants the entire game, waiting for his big moment. 

There were many other goals, now lost to the mists of time and poor record-keeping, but the memories of the tasteful celebrations remain: the chorus line of Vegas-style dancing girls in full SS regalia, the flyover by the Snowbirds aerial acrobatic team, and of course who could forget the impromptu ceremony with the Tour de France podium girls, the donkeys and the fire extinguishers? Good times.

This was the final game of the season for team sponsor and debauchery expert Joey Himalaya. Poor Joe is off to Nepal to shepherd a gaggle of teenage runaway girls up to 'base camp' in a heroic and selfless attempt to cure them of their debilitating nymphomania. The Black Aces HC wishes to extend our hearty thanks for the sweaters, and also wishes to remind Joe that we still need a 'stick girl' for next season.

Next game: Feb 11th, 9:30-ish against the Battlers. 

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