Aces make the most of additional bench space

Bench strength comes in many forms

In their most recent COTHL contest, local hockey team the Black Aces came up a little short in the personnel count but managed to make creative use of the additional space on the bench.

Normally packed with black-shirted manly men, the team bench this week had ample room for the players to really push the envelope on space utilization in an urban sporting context.

• Scribe Jeff M, in honour of the absent winger and cycling addict Paul M, managed to build an entire separated bike lane running the length of the bench. In true Toronto fashion the lane ended abruptly, forcing players and cyclists to merge suddenly and unsafely with on-ice traffic.
• Al H found a nice corner over by the sticks to winterize his sailboat and break in a new cabin boy.
• Ralph R set up an Octoberfest-themed beer hall, complete with Teutonic wenches in push-up bras serving plates of schnitzel and giant mugs of German lagers. Well done Ralph.
• Between shifts, Pete T conducted a drum clinic for inner city youth. On a related note, if anyone has seen Pete's rare Ludwig snare drum please contact him immediately.
• Call-up Mike organized a pot luck get together for the team, in order to introduce himself to his teammates. The guacamole was a huge hit, according to my sources.
• Rod P was unable to attend, but did send a strip-a-gram for the lads. Dawn Cherry performed a 45 minute burlesque / kabuki piece re-enacting the tragic Japanese Fukushima earthquake of 2011 until she was interrupted by a drunk (and possibly stoned) Zamboni Girl. Wearing a Mexican wrestling costume with “el Zambo” embroidered on the chest, ZG stormed the bench and wrestled Miss Cherry to the ground before the refs were called in to intervene. Each gal got a 4 minute penalty for slew-footing and a 10 minute lecture from Donny on the history of tripping infractions.
• Pete D (aka 3Pete) was somehow able to run a poker game in his area of the bench, taking a nice sum of $458 from 3 Wyse Guys players. Pete has kindly offered to donate the proceeds to the Aces Benevolent Fund. Thanks, Pete.

Aces players are reminded to submit their Bench Activity Request Forms no later than 48 hours before next week’s game.

Final score in this contest was 5-1 Red, due mainly to the SHORT BENCH. AHEM.