As the 2011-2012 COTHL season unfolds, the Black Aces HC creep ever closer to their goal of perfecting the last minute collapse.
3 weeks ago the team came close, but ran out of time against the Wyse Guys and skated away with a 6-5 win in spite of a late game rally from the red team.
2 weeks ago the Blackshirts handed the Warriors the game by phoning in the 3rd period, for which they have not received proper thanks as of yet.
In their latest game the Aces came tantalizingly close to the holy grail - the last-minute loss. Outplaying the Wyse Guys again but tied at 2 in the third, the men in black put together a seemingly impossible series of blunders to enable the WGs to stick one in with just 1:01 remaining. So close, and a complete waste of a lovely short-handed goal by Ralph R to tie the game and set up the loss.
Most Aces players were philosophical about the loss after the game. "I feel bad that we lost, sure" said team philatelist Gerry S, casually smoking a Gitane and sipping from a tiny crystal goblet of absynthe "but we came so close to glory, and that is the main thing, you see. Soon, well, in several billion years or so, the sun will supernova and all life on this planet will be erased and none of this will matter anyway. And that is why I smoke."
"I've been studying the pattern of these late game screwups" said team statistical analyst Bruce H "and I've discovered that we are moving ever closer to throwing games away at precisely the one minute mark in a perfectly asymptotic progression. By my calculations we should lose the next game with exactly one minute and 6 seconds remaining. Here, looks at these charts. It's fascinating, really. Hello?"
Team coach Rob Ford was somewhat less willing to accept the loss. "Technically speaking, the score is irrelevent." said Ford after the game. "The Aces want a win, that's it. It's a win. People come up to me all the time and say 'we want the Aces to win' so that's what we're going to do. The Aces win. This is not over."
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