Aces Dominate Decimated Warriors Squad

In their latest Cedarvale Oldtimers’ Hockey League matchup, a tenacious Aces HC came away with a close win against a depleted Warriors team. The Warriors, currently sitting in first place in league standings, were without some of their most potent weapons and so had to ice replacement players of questionable calibre.



Warriors call-ups included a kitten, a three-legged dog, and an elderly blind nun skating on the first line. Their second line, however, was not quite as strong as they were only able to dress Stephen Hawking, Hazel McCallion and Jason Blake of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Blake was benched for the third period due to poor play.

The Warriors D was also not at full strength. Their best player on the night turned out to be a bowl of warm cheese, which managed to outplay some of the regulars in their line-up while slowing down many of the Aces' forwards.

No change in goal for the Warriors, although they did have a backup keeper on standby (a crumpled bowler hat on a stick).

Aces snipers: 2 for Andrew, 1 for Bruce and 1 for Art and his shiny new equipment. Aces D-man Jeff plonked an own-goal off his skate to bring the Warriors within one in the 3rd period, but we won’t talk about that.

The Aces were without their #1 tough guy Barry, which may explain why the Warriors tried to start a kerfuffle after the final whistle had blown. As these incidents go it wasn't much of one, as Hazel McCallion really can't throw a punch the way she used to.

Final score: Aces 4, Warriors taxi squad 3.