CBC to Broadcast Aces Games

In an effort to regain some of the hockey broadcast glory so recently lost when they had Hockey Night in Canada taken from them by Rogers, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has just announced that it will be broadcasting an exciting lineup of games featuring local Toronto hockey legends the Black Aces.

Hockey Night in Cedarvale, as the new show is to be called, will feature an all-star lineup of CBC talent to host the games.

Weapons-grade folksiness

Play by play: Stuart McLean, host of the popular old-people’s radio show The Vinyl Cafe will call the action from rinkside, interjecting humourous anecdotes about Dave, Morley and the gang along with his lightning-fast delivery. Sample: “Aces defenseman and sometime blogger Jeff M corralled the puck in his own end, and, cradling it on his stick like a... newborn Jack Russell Terrier puppy, carried it out to the blueline before making a pass as... crisp as an early October morning to a waiting teammate. Just like the time Dave passed Sam the turkey gravy at that one memorable thanksgiving dinner, the time that Morley wore the apron that Dave’s great aunt Hattie had given her for Christmas.” And so on.

Colour commentary: Bob McDonald, host of the "popular" nerd science radio show Quirks and Quarks. Bob will also present fascinating between-periods features on the science of hockey, covering topics like “Why does a post-game beer taste better after a win?” and “The effects of aging on reflexes and recovery time.”

I have nothing bad to say about Q&Q. Great show. Seriously, listen to it. Saturdays at noon.

Post-game analysis will be handled by the annoying and off-puttingly weird-looking Rex Murphy, including a regular call-in feature called “Hockey players: Hoodlums or Ruffians? You decide”

Sweet Jesus, I'm creepy.

Wizardry!

Not to be outdone by Rogers emphasis on high-tech cameras and multiplatform delivery, the CBC is promising some technical wizardry of its own, including

• the Zamboni Cam ^®
• live tweeting of the game by CBC correspondent and Spark host Nora Young 
• a live-streamed Innuit throat-singing version of Oh Canada before every game
• action photos taken by CBC hipster chick Sook Yin Lee and put through the most obscure Instagram filters, posted to her Tumblr account
• a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) with Ron James, host of something called the "Ron James Show"

And don’t forget to tune into the Hockey Night in Cedarvale Farsi edition (the Punjabi broadcast has been snapped up by Rogers Communications).

Actual Hockey News

Exciting stuff, but what happened last week? Oh, just another win by the Aces is all. 5-3 over the Battlers, in what for a while was a pretty close game. The Battlers were actually in front 3-2 in the second period before the Aces took charge, with Mark bagging an impressive 4 goals and Rod chipping in for a single. Goaltending duties were ably handled by some guy in a red jersey, since Aces goalie Kevin T. was busy watching some other team play hockey. Forget the name of the team, sorry.

Aces are now 3-0 on the season, in case you’re keeping track.