Local Eatery Creates New Selection of Aces-Themed Pizzas

Fucking Delicious Pizzas

Local eatery and long-time Black Aces post-game hangout Ferro has announced a new lineup of specially created pizzas in honour of the Aces’ recent stunning victory in the 2017-18 COTHL semifinals.

The Aces came into the game as definite underdogs, up against the first place Wyse Guys, a strong team whom they had not defeated all year. Smart money was on red. Smart money lost.

Aces Playbook

The Aces came out swinging, jumping out to a 1-0 lead on a nice tally from Paul M. Red tied it up not long after and the teams battled it out until Black took the lead on an in-close goal from Pete S. That was enough to make the difference and the Aces took away the surprise 2-1 win. The keys to success? Intense forechecking, disciplined positional play, tough D and timely goaltending. Right out of the ancient Aces playbook that somehow surfaces every year at playoff time.

But back to the pizzas.

Your humble scribe secured an off-the-record interview with Ferro’s chief pizza architect Gianni Dellatortarotonda. Here’s what will be appearing on the menu very soon:

The Ritardatario (The Latecomer)

This basic pie comes with with a thick layer of unevenly spread sauce and random toppings from the back of the refrigerator. You never know what you’ll get. The final ingredient is brought to your table 10 minutes after the pizza is first served.
Wine pairing: Nadal 1510 Late Harvest

The Quelli Vecchi (The Old Ones)

This unique pie is served on aged crust made from vintage Red Fife wheat from the 1950s. Ingredients are selected exclusively from heirloom vegetables, pepperoni that was cured for Expo 67 but never sold, and 100 year old asiago cheese.
Wine pairing: Smoking Loon Old Vine Zinfandel.

The Vittoria Nera (The Black Victory)

A heavy pie suitable only for strong appetites, the Vittoria Nera crust is made from sourdough mixed with black beer and charcoal. Toppings: black olives, black pepper, black-eyed peas, Black Forest ham, blackberries, black pudding and blackened cod.
Wine pairing: Folonari Pinot Noir.

The Bella Macchina (the Beautiful Machine)

This beautiful and perfectly circular pie is perfectly balanced in all aspects. Carefully selected toppings are placed in equal amounts evenly spaced around the surface of the pie: 1.026mm of 10w40 "sauce", 25g each of iron filings, titanium wafers, and hard steel balls. Chew carefully, and order soon before the U.S. slaps a tariff on it.
Wine pairing: Nickel & Nickel Branding Iron Cabernet Sauvignon 2014

Aces players have a week to savour their victory and prepare for their final match against the Battlers, who reportedly edged the Warriors in extra time.