5 Out of 6 Ain’t Bad

Reactions to the Black Aces stunning loss in the finals of the COTHL last week continue to pour in. What was once thought to be a sure thing, then a long-shot, then a distinct possibility, turned out in the end to be only a close call.

In their 6th consecutive appearance in the Final Two, the Aces were attempting to achieve an unprecedented 6th consecutive league title. For a review of just what an achievement even 5 straight is, please re-read last year’s game report after Win #5. The Aces are in pretty rare company.

But reactions. A sampling of the shock, horror, and sheer garment-rending angst that the Aces’ 1-0 loss to league rivals and second-rate jersey-wearers the Battlers is presented here for your enjoyment.

Preciousssss!!

Gollum, aka Smeagol. A wretched creature of Middle Earth:

Filthy Battlerses have stolen the Precious! They uses tricksy magicks to take the lovely yellow metal cup from the Aces! Nassty stripeshirt orcses and their wicked calls helped the Battlerses, yes they did! But Smeagol will helps Aces get the Precious back, oh yesssss we will.

Ya may as well laugh.

Reg McDonald, a guy in Tim Horton’s

Holy shit, I had a hundred on these guys on the Proline at 8:1 against, eh? What am I going to do now? I owe Pete down at the garage buck fiddy for a nice chunk a hash he fronted me, and now I have to pay back Cash Money payday loans too. I'm screwed.

Die Les, Die.

Stephen Hawking’s Cryogenically Frozen Head

This Is The Most Extraordinary Day In. The History Of The Universe.
My Calculations Indicated A Win For. The Aces. I Cannot Explain It.
I Am Blaming Les.

Folks.

Doug Ford, a wretched creature of Middle Etobicoke.

Folks, this is the biggest scam since Kathleen Wynn took all the schoolkids’ lunch money and used it to pay for sex ed lessons and we’re not going to stand for it. It’s time the Aces took back the COTHL from the elites and folks are fed up, folks. We’re going to make the Aces great again. Folks.

I'm putting on my smitin' shoes

God Himself

My condolences to the Aces and their many fan. As you may know, The Aces are My Team - I’ve been watching over them lo these past 5 years and the results speak for themselves. This year I decided to push them a little, you know, to test their faith in Me, by having them lose all those games in the regular season. But they came through with the thoughts and prayers so I made sure they got to the finals again. But then I, uh, I looked away for just a few minutes to update my Facebook settings and next thing I know the game is over and some other team are the champs. I may have to smite them.

Don't forget, Aces, training camp is in June. Start training!