Make the Aces Great Again

Transcript of a recent speech from POTUS #45, during the visit of Stanley Cup champions the Pittsburgh Penguins to the White House.

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Hello, welcome to the White House… penguins is it? You don’t look like penguins. Penguins are much smaller and you guys are very big. Yuge. Very big men. The biggest maybe. Tremendous size.

People are saying that your team is a very great team, very great. Maybe even the best. Tremendous talent. But do you know of another team called, what are they called again Sarah? The Aces? The Black Aces. Black Aces? Just the sweaters, oh. Tremendous team, but so far this year… not good. Not good.

I’ve created over a million jobs since I’m president, the economy is booming, we have the highest employment numbers we’ve ever had in the history of our country but the Aces are still struggling. Lost all their games this year. Every one of them. Sad.

So penguin men I want you to ask yourselves how can we make the Aces great again.  Maybe I should just meet with them, do you think? Because my dad said I have the Midas touch, everything I touch turns to gold. So I could touch the Aces. And that would make them great again. Believe me. Crooked Hillary could never do that. But I don’t like to touch people so maybe that wouldn’t be great.

But you know what I like about the Aces? They’re real. Not fake. Not fake. Not like those other teams, the failing Warriors or the fake Battlers. The Wyse Guys? Not very wise. Not wise. They did ask me to coach them though, so maybe they are smart after all. Begged me. Donald, they said, you’d make the best hockey coach in the history of hockey, please coach us. But I said no. Not wise enough. They have some very fine players but I had to say no because the Aces are my team and only I can help them become great again. By not touching them.

If I had been at their last game maybe they wouldn't have lost 4-3 to the Warriors. That's what many people are saying right now. But I was in Puerto Rico saving the Puerto Ricans with some beautiful soft paper towels. People were cheering, it was beautiful. So much work.

Ok penguins, that's all I have time for. Back to the north pole you go.

Have a good time.

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Wow, Aces. That was something. As DJT said, a 4-3 loss to an improved Warriors squad with goals coming from Mark and both Petes. We still have some work to do.