Local ice hockey team the Black Aces began their quest for a sixth straight COTHL title this week in their usual fashion - slowly. Minutes before game time only a light dusting of players could be found in the room, with many regulars opting to give the opening night a miss in order to tend to more important matters, no doubt.
“But Scribe” I hear you ask “What could be more important than starting the new season off right, especially when a world record 6th straight championship is on the line?”
I know, Dear Reader, I hear you. How could anything take precedence over such a critical sporting event? Maybe we should check in with the missing Aces and see.
Simon - soccer injury. Fortunately all soccer injuries can be instantly cured by the application of a damp sponge, so Simon should be ready for game 2
Rod - was still celebrating last year’s big win as late as last week, so is recovering from alcohol poisoning
Mark - training with Gary Roberts to increase his chances of a last minute call-up to the Las Vegas Golden Showers (Golden Nights farm team)
Pete T - on tour with the SnuggleFucks, a children’s punk band specializing in play dates for children under 2 (and their hot moms)
Joe H - climbing K2 with the Sherpa Grrls. They aren’t Sherpas, they are an all-girl metal band from Katmandu. Average age: 16.1
Paul - on his way to Puerto Rico by bicycle, bringing much-need supplies of food and MAGA hats to desperate hurricane victims
One man who did make the extra effort is team owner, manager, and now goddam inspiration Aubrey S, recently recovered from hip surgery and because he liked it so much the first time, prepping for one more this week. His presence behind the bench (literally, behind the bench) was not enough to rally the troops however, and the Aces finished with a 5-3 loss to the Wyse Guys.
No problem though. The Aces know that getting out of the starting gate too quickly can lead to burnout. Better to play possum for now and save energy for the home stretch (aka, the final 2 games of the year) than to rush into things.
Score sheet: 2 for Ralph, 1 for Pete S.
No comments:
Post a Comment