The Playoff Drive Begins

Now that the warmest February on record is almost over, local hockey team the Black Aces are turning their collective attention to their annual gruelling playoff run. Temperatures over the last 10 days have been well above normal, ensuring less than acceptable conditions on ski hills within a 500km radius. This has freed up the Aces to devote the 78% of their brains normally reserved for skiing to thinking about other things. Like hockey.

"It's true" said team telemarketer Rich W "Now that the snow is gone I find myself thinking less about carving turns through pristine powder above the treeline and more about how we're going to get through this insane playoff drive."

The Aces improved their chances of going to the dance for a 5th consecutive year by eeking out a 4-3 win over a troublesome Warriors squad in their most recent game. A last-minute goal by Ralph (his 2nd of the game and 14th goal in the last 3) sealed the deal, with Pete S potting the other 2 Aces goals.

Other Aces are also getting mentally and physically prepped for the dash to the post-season, a COTHL ritual that sees only 4 teams make it through to the playoffs.

Team birdcaller Paul M has decided to go all-out this year to make sure he's in peak physical condition for the big show. "Not only am I riding my bike to games with my equipment towed behind me, I'll be towing the entire team's equipment as well" said Paul. "All week long, not just on game day. My family won't let me in the house because of the smell, but it's all worth it."

To ensure success if and when the team makes the post-season, team yodelling instructor Ralph R has initiated a strict diet for the rest of the season. "I only had 6 beers last night" said Ralph as he fidgeted with his hands "6! You want dedication, there you go. The playoffs can't come soon enough, y'ask me."

The rest of the team is following the general guidelines laid down in ancient times by a 31-year-old Aubrey, now the spiritual leader of the team and facing off-season surgery to replace every joint and muscle in his body. Written on sheepskin using the blood of a mastodon, the list is a simple "do more" versus "do less" affair, so that even beer league hockey players can understand it. Here it is: