In an unprecedented turn of events, American ICE agents have arrested and detained several Aces players in Toronto and L.A. this week, resulting in the team icing a short bench in their latest game.
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| Get the guy in the Expos jersey first |
Team baseball scout Martin L was scooped up by masked ICE agents in Los Angeles immediately following Tuesday’s World Series game at Dodger Stadium along with several dozen other Toronto fans and has not been heard from since. His seat on the flight back to Toronto for Wednesday’s Aces game was empty, according to our sources. Thoughts and prayers, Marty, thoughts and prayers.
In Toronto the Aces’ lost both John and Blair to an American cross-border ICE raid targeting illegal immigrants and socialists. “All I did was order a dozen Coronas for me and Blair and boom - next thing I know I’m getting tackled by these dudes in camo outfits” said team lumber coordinator John through his lawyer. “They kept calling me ‘Juan’ for some reason. What the fuck?”
The short bench may have been a contributing factor to the team losing 4-1 to the Battlers in a game where the blackshirts were never really in the match. Sure, the other guys had an even shorter bench but we won’t talk about that. The game was played without stop time as well, so the Aces game plan of wearing down the Battlers’ starting rotation never had a chance to work.
In other news, Go Jays!
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