Justin Trudeau Cancels Appearance with Black Aces

Sorry guys, I just can't do it

In a last-minute decision, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that he was cancelling a scheduled appearance with local hockey team the Black Aces this week. The announcement came on the heels of another loss by the squad (4-1 to the wyse guys this time), although Trudeau's communications advisor denied that the loss had anything to do with the decision.

"The fact that the team is playing under .500 this year did not influence the Prime Minister's decision" said spokes person Wendy McDonald "He has a number of different offers for appearances, several of which were determined to be - and I know this may come as a shock - of higher priority than an appearance with a little-known men's hockey team."

What were these offers? You might well ask. Well, gentle reader, your faithful scribe has called in some favours and secured the PM's itinerary for the next several weeks. This is what is on tap for wednesdays during that period:

January 17: Donwood Park Public School Parent-Teacher night in Scarborough Ontario. JT will be on hand to take selfies with the moms, and take part in an arm-wrestling competition with Mr. Hiley's 6th grade class.

January 24: Brittny O'Donnel's 16th birthday party planning session, with Brittny and her mom Janice. The party isn't until June 12th...  2021.

January 31: Netflix and Chill with Sophie.

February 7: Private reception at the Pallisades Retirement Residence in Point Renfrew NL, where JT will preside over the weekly bingo game, calling out numbers and taking selfies with the ladies.

February 14: Laundry. So much laundry.

Febrary 21: An appearance at karaoke night at Bud's Brewery in Parksville BC. JT has been working on a very special version of Careless Whispers by WHAM! and is anxious to debut it at Bud's.

And it carries on like this for several more weeks. By the time the PM's schedule opens up, the Aces will be on the golf course or at their annual post-season un-training camp in Bayfield.

The team will have to soldier onwards without the power and inspiration of a carefully scripted, camera-friendly visit from Canada's Prime Minister. Team management is rumoured to be working on a special pre-game pep talk by businessman and sometime politician Doug Ford, but this could not be confirmed at press time.

I'm available! Folks!