Black Aces Boyfriend

I love you, man

Dear Diary,

I finally found a new job! After months of searching I landed a great gig as a zamboni driver at a rink down in Toronto of all places. It will be a big change from my life here in South Porcupine but I'm ready to make the move. I start next week, so I'd better get packing.

Dear Diary,

Life here in Toronto sure is different than back home. There are WAY more people on Tinder, to start with, so I'm getting all kinds of nasty action with all kinds of dudes whenever I like. No more luring sled dogs for this gal! I start my zamboni gig tomorrow, so I've been looking up videos on Youtube to figure out how to actually drive the thing. How hard can it be? My boss will never know I lied on my application or that the South Porcupine Arena 'zamboni' is just a snow shovel with wet towel duct taped to it. I got this.

Dear Diary,

First day of work at [redacted] Arena. Turns out the arena assistant manager is some guy I hooked up with off Tinder last week, so that's gonna be awkward. Maybe I shouldn't have gone all Full Blumpkin on him, in hindsight. Also, the zamboni is a bit trickier to drive than I expected, especially in the parking lot. I'm pretty sure I clipped somebody's Range Rover when I was out dumping snow but I just drove back into the arena as fast as I could before anyone saw me.

Dear Diary,

Hockey players are so cute. Everyone in Toronto is, actually. Even though I was Miss South Porcupine 3 years running I feel kind of plain here compared to everyone else. I never noticed how yellow and crooked my teeth were before, and I'm wondering if maybe I should try to cover up my butt crack more.

Dear Diary,

I met the cutest guy, and not even on Tinder. His name is [redacted] and he plays for this team the Black Aces. I was bleeding the lines on the zamboni when he just walked into the service bay and grabbed my ass. Hard. Things escalated quickly and let's just say I wasn't worried about covering up my butt crack for a good 3 minutes at least.  That was 2 days ago and now he's all i can think about. Am I in love? I'm so confused. Life with the sled dogs was a lot easier.

Dear Diary,

That cute guy from the Black Aces is avoiding me, I know it. Why did I let him do those terrible things to me? Oh who am I kidding? Because he was gorgeous, that's why. I was so messed up tonight that I totally forgot to watch the water flow meter on the zamboni and laid down 3 inches of water over the entire ice. Damn him. I should have at least asked him his name.

Dear Diary,

I'v been fired. The manager says it's because I keep messing up the ice floods, which is kind of true since I'm constantly checking my phone to see if that Black Aces dude is texting me (he's not) and it's hard to drive and check the phone at the same time. I think the real reason is because the assistant manager is jealous of my new Black Aces boyfriend in spite of all the handies I've been giving him at lunch and break time. Jerk. Ha ha, see what i did there?

Dear Diary,

I'm back in South Porcupine again, but thanks to the spycam i installed at the arena I can still keep tabs on my Black Aces boyfriend. His team won 9-1 last night against the white team (Warriors?). He didn't get any goals but after watching them play so often I know all their numbers and names now. Here's the breakdown:

Mark 3
Mike 2
Bruce 2
Ralph 1
Pete S 1

Plus they have another new goalie again. Never seen him before but he played pretty good. He looks cute too... I wonder if he's on Tinder.