Aces Win (just not in this timeline)

"I enjoy the non-linear nature of ice hockey as well as its utility in rendering quantum theory as a framework for ontically noncommittal causal inference."

Fans of this blog will also no doubt be fans of science (naturally) and will have heard of the “Many Worlds” theory of quantum physics. For the non-science fans and the forwards in the crowd, the MWT states that every time a random event occurs the universe splits into separate universes, or timelines, one each for each possible outcome of that event. For instance, if a certain hockey team lost a game, say, 8-0, there would also exist other timelines where that score did not happen - one for each possible outcome.

My personal take on this theory is that the total amount of positive and negative energy in each universe / timeline must balance. So a negative event is balanced out by a positive event. For example Doug Ford loses the Toronto mayoral election and local politics becomes boring again (a bad outcome) but then he runs for Ontario PC party leader and we get to laugh at him for a while longer (a good outcome). See how that works?

In this timeline, a certain hockey team did in fact lose 8-0 to a team with red sweaters. That was bad, I think we can all agree. On the other hand news out of West Africa is that the Ebola virus is now in retreat. Which pretty much evens the score.

What about those other timelines though? What happened in the alternate universes where the score was not 8-0? It just so happens that your scribe and blog host has some friends at the Perimeter Institute in Waterloo, who happen to be working on a sophisticated mathematical equation capable of determining specific events happening in alternate timelines. They kindly agreed to use the new equation to see what happened under all the alternate hockey scenarios from last week.

Here are the results. For those interested (looking at you, defensemen) there is an excellent seminar next tuesday that covers some of the theory involved. Let me know if you want to carpool to Waterloo.

If physics lectures are not your cup of tea, there's always this episode of "Community".

Timeline	Game Result	Balancing event
This one	WG 8, Aces 0	Ebola in retreat.
1	WG 7, Aces 1	Branson buys the Aces
2	WG 6, Aces 2	All the new sweaters fit
3	WG 5, Aces 3	Ferris returns his sweater
4	WG 4, Aces 4	Partly cloudy, high of 10 degrees.
5	WG 3, Aces 5	Warm post-game beer
6	WG 2, Aces 6	Don Cherry contract extension
7	WG 1, Aces 7	U2 double album mandatory listening
8	WG 0, Aces 8	Recount. Doug Ford wins.