Dear applicant;
Thank you for your recent letter indicating your interest in playing the position of Defenseman for the Black Aces Hockey Club. In order for us to process your application, we ask you to please complete the following questionnaire.
Q. What is the average speed of a typical COTHL wrist shot?
a) 22.2 m/s
b) 50 mph
c) 0.0000746% of the speed of light in a vacuum
d) I don’t care, I’ll block the shot no matter what
Q. Who is the greatest Toronto Maple Leaf of all time?
a) Bobby Baun
b) Ian Turnbull
c) Borje Salming
d) Tim Horton
Q. Who said “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
a) Captain James T Kirk
b) Isaac Newton
c) Albert Einstein
d) Jim McKenney
Q. The angle between the left point and the top right corner of the net in an NHL sized rink is:
a) 16.6 degrees
b) 38.1 degrees
c) It depends if the defenseman is shooting left or right
d) It doesn’t matter. Point shots should be low and hard, not aimed at the top corner.
Q. If Jimmy is skating north-northwest at 28 kilometres per hour and Joey is skating due south at 26 kilometres per hour, what time should you be in the dressing room for an 8:30 game?
a) 7:45
b) 8:29
c) midway through the second period
d) depends on the weather and/or McDonalds drive thru traffic
Q. Who said "Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt." ?
a) Sun Tzu in The Art of War
b) Lau Tzu in the Tao Te Ching
c) American WWII General George S. Patton
d) Bobby Orr in the middle of a mescaline binge with Derek Sanderson
This concludes the multiple choice section of the application.
Essay Question: in 500 words or less please explain why you feel you are qualified to play defence for the Black Aces. Please include detailed diagrams showing your top 3 preferred zone clearing strategies for even strength, shorthanded and power play situations.
Bonus question: who is your favourite Aces defenseman of all time?
Thank you for your interest. Successful candidates will be contacted by email the day of the next game. Keep your gear in the trunk just in case.
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