Aces Recruit Darwin

Ex or Blue, sir?

In a surprise move this past week, local hockey team the Black Aces of Aubreytown have signed former IKEA monkey and parking lot fugitive Darwin the macaque to a one year deal.

Sources close to the Aces say that the deal involves no cash, but does include unlimited bananas and a new custom-tailored shearling jacket for the tiny simian. In return, Darwin will live with the player responsible for providing the post-game refreshments each week and will in be charge of handing out the drinks after the game.

Darwin currently resides at the Story Book Farm Primate Sanctuary, where he has been reportedly training hard for his new role with the Aces. Black Aces head of player development Rich W is said to be excited about the new addition to the team. "He can't skate and he's only 18 inches tall, but I'm tired of having to reach for a beer after each and every game. Darwin will make an immediate contribution in this area."

Rich is also rumoured to be scouting several other new recruits for the team, including Mickey the Marmoset (great hands around the net), Rosie the Lemur (PK specialist) and a baboon named Pierre (enforcer, known for flinging his own feces into the opposing team's bench).

In non-monkey news, the Aces dominated the Warriors in their most recent COTHL game, handing the white shirts a 6-1 spanking. Guest goalkeeper Aubrey the Brave put the Warriors at ease early, allowing them to score on their first shot of the game, but shut the door after that until the Aces finally decided to get in the game. Another 4 goal game for Mark means that the elusive team jersey is one step closer to reality, with singles added by Paul and Rich putting the final touches on what turned out to be a pretty one-sided affair.

Late game this week. Rich has the monkey.

Black Aces Pick Up a Win on Black Wednesday

For most people Black Friday may be a good day to pick up a deal on some pre-obsolete electronics, but for local hockey team The Black Aces Featuring Aubrey S, wednesdays are a great day to pick up 2 more points in the Cedarvale Oldtimers Hockey League.

In fact they've been doing that so often lately that there is a petition going around the internets to have wednesdays renamed Black Wednesday.

Last Black Wednesday was no exception, as Aubrey's Black Aces rolled to a convincing 7-2 win over the Wyse Guys, whose wednesday turned out to be very black indeed. The Black Aces + A Man Named Aubrey even spread the scoring around this time, rather than relying on sniper Mark L to provide all the offence. Mark still bagged a pair, but singles went to Al, Ralph, Paul, Rod and your humble narrator with a rare point shot.

To celebrate the win, everyone on the Black Aces HC, Brought to You by Aubrey was presented with a 1,000,000 Rupee gift certificate* to spend on Black Friday by team benefactor and spiritual guide Joe Himalaya. Thanks Joe!

* valid between 2 and 4 pm on November 29 at Uncle Harminder's Most Excellent Spices and Western Jeans Emporium, 4/38 W.E.A. Krishna Market, Saraswati Marg, Karol Bagh, New Delhi, India.

Black Friday hopefuls on their way to the sales

In the spirit of Black Friday and the looming Christmas Shopping Season, The Black Aces of Aubrey are offering all other teams in the COTHL a complimentary ass-kicking, valid any wednesday night between now and the playoffs.