This next post was provided by Raj, who is passing this along from the Vancouver Province and is in no way claiming this as his own work. Here we go:
Sundin Signs with Vancouver: 10 Remaining Questions
By Mike Halford, Vancouver Province
10. Where does this put Alex Auld on the list of greatest bald Canucks? (Go ahead and group Salo in there. It's inevitable.)
9. Was Brian Burke upset he didn't get invited to the press conference? We hear he met Sundin once.
8. How long before the phoneboards at Team 1040 short circuit and the ensuing flames engulf Dave Pratt, turning this from a pretty good signing into the greatest moment in Vancouver sports history?
7. Hold on...did we just sign Toronto's sloppy seconds?
6. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, what does this mean for Jason Jaffray?
5. Remember the ceremony for that Lundin guy? That was a good ceremony.
4. At what point does Bob Cole chuck his microphone and mutter, "Christ...Sundin, Sedin...I do not need this"?
3. Has anybody been informed of the clause in Sundin's contract whereby he gets to miss practice every time there's a $22 sit-and-go at Pokerstars?
2. Is it true that Daniel and Henrik have commissioned IKEA to build the world's first triple race-car bunk bed?
Aaaaaaaaaand, finally...
1. So...who couldn't the Rangers trade?
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Aces Finish 08 in First Place
In a turn of events that even their legions of faithful fans would admit is somewhat surprising, the Aces have finished the first half of the 2008-2009 season at the top of the Cedarvale heap. The apex, the summit, the pinnacle, top spot, numero uno. With a healthy lead, no less, according to team statistician Aubrey Spring.
The final match-up of 2008 saw the Blackshirts take on the Battlers, who brought out the big guns even before the game began. Strains of rock and/or roll could faintly be heard wafting through the air from their dressing room, and several players were seen to be engaging in a form of chemical enhancement in a vain attempt to bring their energy level up to that of the mighty Aces.
The Aces, meanwhile, were holding a silent prayer meeting before taking the ice, as is often their custom. All except Raj, that is. He was too busy listening to his new collection of inspirational Christian ska music on his mp3 player to hold hands with the rest of the boys. Check out the video:
Glorious stuff.
The game, if you're still interested after watching that stunning bit of video, was a see-saw affair that saw the teams trade leads throughout. The illicit beverage-induced boost enjoyed by the Battlers wore off after period 2, allowing the Aces to come from a 4-2 deficit to ultimately tie the game, praise Jesus. A pair of goals from newcomer Jeff, plus one each from team pastor Rich and team organist Andrew was enough to make up for the short bench, and the game ended in a very brotherly 4-4 draw.
The Aces would also like to welcome back Dick Van Dyke after an extended absence to attend seminary school.
Next game is next year, so happy holidays to everyone.
The final match-up of 2008 saw the Blackshirts take on the Battlers, who brought out the big guns even before the game began. Strains of rock and/or roll could faintly be heard wafting through the air from their dressing room, and several players were seen to be engaging in a form of chemical enhancement in a vain attempt to bring their energy level up to that of the mighty Aces.
The Aces, meanwhile, were holding a silent prayer meeting before taking the ice, as is often their custom. All except Raj, that is. He was too busy listening to his new collection of inspirational Christian ska music on his mp3 player to hold hands with the rest of the boys. Check out the video:
Glorious stuff.
The game, if you're still interested after watching that stunning bit of video, was a see-saw affair that saw the teams trade leads throughout. The illicit beverage-induced boost enjoyed by the Battlers wore off after period 2, allowing the Aces to come from a 4-2 deficit to ultimately tie the game, praise Jesus. A pair of goals from newcomer Jeff, plus one each from team pastor Rich and team organist Andrew was enough to make up for the short bench, and the game ended in a very brotherly 4-4 draw.
The Aces would also like to welcome back Dick Van Dyke after an extended absence to attend seminary school.
Next game is next year, so happy holidays to everyone.
Friday, December 5, 2008
So Long Joe
Wednesday December 3 was the final game of the season for Team Sherpa and noted philanthropist Joey 'Himalaya' Pilaar. As a parting gift, the team took delivery of some swanky new jerseys paid for by Joe and Himalayan Expeditions. So a giant thank you to Joe & Co. from all the Aces. Plus more thanks to Rich for acquiring the jerseys and to Art for creating the cool logo.
So what will Joe be up to once his tenure with the Aces comes to a close? Your Aces Cub Reporter has secured access to Joe's personal calendar for the next few months, which we bring to you now. Behold.
December 6-20 - Acapulco. Attending the SurfFest 09 conference, delivering keynote address "Surfboards as Sexual Totems in Post-Modern American Beach Culture".
December 21 - 31 - San Francisco. Guest lecturer at the Mission Hill School for Wayward Girls, will be presenting a slideshow of last year's HImalayan trek with the Grade 9 class. Q&A session to follow in the girls' washroom.
New Years Eve - Naked Skydiving over Yosemite Park with Angelina Jolie while Brad looks after the kids.
January 1 - February 28 - Whistler Village. Lead instructor in the 'Powder Skiing by Feel' class for a group of women from the Lower Mainland School for Hot Blind Chicks. All classes conclude with a special session in proper sauna techniques.
March 1 - March 30 - Nepal. Guiding the 2009 'Vaginas for Nepal' expedition, comprised entirely of 18 year old girls from the Swiss private school L'Ecole de Nymphonique du Canadienne. The goal of the expedition is to be the first to climb to Base Camp wearing nothing but short-skirted school uniforms and no underwear. Good luck Joe!
April 1 - Toronto. Back to Canada to take part in the victory celebration of the Black Aces Hockey club.
On a somewhat related note, the Aces whacked the Einstein dudes 2-0 on the strength of goals from the Other Joe and from Bruce, both lovely top shelf zingers. The NewShirts were backstopped once again by a very solid Raj, who made several big league caliber stops including a penalty shot.
The march to glory continues.
So what will Joe be up to once his tenure with the Aces comes to a close? Your Aces Cub Reporter has secured access to Joe's personal calendar for the next few months, which we bring to you now. Behold.
December 6-20 - Acapulco. Attending the SurfFest 09 conference, delivering keynote address "Surfboards as Sexual Totems in Post-Modern American Beach Culture".
December 21 - 31 - San Francisco. Guest lecturer at the Mission Hill School for Wayward Girls, will be presenting a slideshow of last year's HImalayan trek with the Grade 9 class. Q&A session to follow in the girls' washroom.
New Years Eve - Naked Skydiving over Yosemite Park with Angelina Jolie while Brad looks after the kids.
January 1 - February 28 - Whistler Village. Lead instructor in the 'Powder Skiing by Feel' class for a group of women from the Lower Mainland School for Hot Blind Chicks. All classes conclude with a special session in proper sauna techniques.
March 1 - March 30 - Nepal. Guiding the 2009 'Vaginas for Nepal' expedition, comprised entirely of 18 year old girls from the Swiss private school L'Ecole de Nymphonique du Canadienne. The goal of the expedition is to be the first to climb to Base Camp wearing nothing but short-skirted school uniforms and no underwear. Good luck Joe!
April 1 - Toronto. Back to Canada to take part in the victory celebration of the Black Aces Hockey club.
On a somewhat related note, the Aces whacked the Einstein dudes 2-0 on the strength of goals from the Other Joe and from Bruce, both lovely top shelf zingers. The NewShirts were backstopped once again by a very solid Raj, who made several big league caliber stops including a penalty shot.
The march to glory continues.
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