Long Time Aces Player Retires to Spend More Time With Family

Beloved long-time Aces veteran Rich W. has announced his retirement from the team. Citing a desire to 'spend more time with family', Rich has decided to hang up the blades for now.

"I loved playing for this team" he said via phone link from the family compound in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. "But family comes first."

Family massage therapist Maria del Felacion insisted that the big man's presence was needed at the compound. "We have to practice our technique on a regular basis, or we risk to lose our massaging license. Senor Ricardo - I mean Uncle Rich - has graciously agreed to help us."

Gracias Senor Ricardo!

Family bartender Selma Gonsolvez was also full of praise for the Canadian hockey legend. "At great cost to himself has Senor Ricardo - I mean Uncle Rich - given his time and personal expertise to us here at Saloon Cabo. Without his expert advice our drink mixing skills would soon desert us and we would have to join the caravan to America."

Important research is being done

Family golf pro Eliza Golfista told your scribe that Rich's assistance on the links was of vital importance to the continued operation of Club Campestre, the family-owned course in Cabo. "It is of great importance for us to have the input and wise advice of a man such as Senor Ricardo - sorry, Uncle Rich" - said Golfista. "We rely on his experience tremendously. He is so unselfish, sometimes he even plays 36 holes in a single day just to be sure that the course is perfect. He is truly a great man."

Uncle Rich is muy importante

The Aces are already missing Senor Ricardo, although maybe not that much since they spanked the Warriors again in their most recent game by a score of 4 or possibly 5 to nothing. Goals courtesy of Pete S, Al, Martin and 3 Pete.

This is definitely the end of an era, however, and Vegas oddsmakers are already revising their lines on the Aces' playoff success, citing a projected lack of game-day chalk-talking to fire up the troops and remind them of their assignments.

Aces Forward Joins Migrant Caravan, Misses Game

The sky man he will fly us to America

As local hockey team the Black Aces continue to struggle in the 2018-2019 season, at least one Ace has an excuse for not showing up at the team's most recent game.

Aces' kite surfing enthusiast Joe P. was reportedly seen inside the migrant caravan now making its way from Honduras to the US border.

"I caught a pretty big wave and then a really big wind gust." said Joe, via satellite phone. Mr. P. was at a kite surfing competion in Baja Mexico last week when he was unexpectedly transported 2,000 kilometers to the southern border with Guatemala. "I've been blown ashore many times in the past, but this is ridiculous" reported Joe as he hoisted his kite onto a donkey cart driven by Hector Gonsolvez of La Ceiba Honduras. "We worship the sky man as our god now" mumbled Hector, in surprising good English. "He will help us to fly to America, and maybe to Canada to see these Black Aces."

Side note: Aces fans may remember that time the team were featured on Mexican cable television back in 2013.

Ironically, Joe was within meters of winning the kite surfing competition but was disqualified for exiting the official competition zone. "He looked fantastic, but those are the rules." reported Mexican surf judge Hector Gonsolvez of Playa Encanto. "Close, but no cigarillo, amigo."

The Aces too came close in their most recent game, falling 5-2 to the Battlers in what was actually a good performance from the team. An empty net goal and a couple of weird bounces put the game out of reach in spite of a solid game from just about everyone in a black sweater.

The Aces were missing a 2 Petes, 2 Joes (see above) and a Simon for this game.

As the saying goes, close but no cigarillo.

Later, amigos.