Candidates for 2014-2015 Aces Coaching Job Line Up Early

As the 2013-2014 COTHL regular season nears the end, there are already 4 hopefuls vying for the position of Black Aces HC coach for next year. Now that the olympics are done, this is considered the most prestigious coaching job available, so it's no surprise that there is some interest being shown this early.

Here are your potential bench bosses for the upcoming campaign:

Rob Ford

Anything else?

Plus: may be available next fall
Minus: may be in jail next fall
Plus: will bring the beer every week
Minus: will bring the crack every week
Quote:
"Have I coached hockey before? Yes, approximately one year ago, probably in one of my drunken stupors."

John Tory

Hi, I'm John T-zzzzzzzzzzzz

Plus: not a crackhead, as far as we know
Minus: knows nothing about hockey
Quote:
"Well I'm seriously thinking about whether or not I might consider pondering a possible run at the coaching job. I'll let you know. Probably."

David Soknacki

Add caption

Plus: no priors
Minus: unspellable surname
Quote:
"I'm just like Rob Ford but without the crack, so this is a perfect gig for me. Crack is bad for hockey performance, unlike meth, which I am in favour of."

Karen Stintz

Nobody told me about the smell!

Plus: can commandeer TTC vehicles for post-game trip to Ferro's
Minus: wants all Aces to wear figure skates
Plus: likes older men
Minus: wants to redesign the team crest, something in taupe.
Quote:
"I've worked with Rob Ford, so how bad can this job be?"


In actual hockey news, the Aces continue to roll through the COTHL. Last week's game was a 3-2 victory over the Battlers with John from the Warriors in net. Rod sniped a pair and linemate Mark chipped in with another as a lean Aces machine shut down an overstaffed Battlers squad. Again.

Write your own Black Aces blog post

Due to the recent absence of long-time Aces reporter and blogmaster, the team is now offering players and fans the opportunity to write their own fully customizable blog posts.

Simply choose from the available options to create a game report that accurately reflects the results of the most recent Aces

• game
• win
• pleasure skate
• pizza order

See how easy it is? Now you go:

---

Black Aces 

• WIN!!

• Crush it again

• Rule!

In the latest in a long line of

• epic victories 
• stunning upsets 
• unexpected wins 
• beer-fueled slugfests 

local hockey team the Black Aces

• pulled off 
• squeaked out 
• cruised to 
• laid down 

 a

• thorough drubbing 
• last-minute win 
• total domination 
• mild scolding 

of their COTHL rivals the

• Warriors 
• Wyse Guys 
• Bloor Battlers 
• referees 

As has been the case all season long, the Aces defence corps held off the enemy through

• determination and grit 
• brilliant strategy 
• pure talent 
• blinding good looks 

while the forwards

• worked their magic 
• put on a clinic 
• filled the opposing net 
• took the night off 

 Opposition players were once again left

• scratching their heads 
• holding their d*cks 
• demanding a urine test 
• demanding to see birth certificates 

as they have been all season.

Playoffs begin soon, and Aces fans, aka

• current players 
• former players 
• Pete’s son 
• the zamboni driver 

are/is pulling for a repeat of 2012-2013, when the team took it’s rightful place atop the COTHL.

---

Now simply fax your game report to Aces' technology consultant Simon C, and he will send out a telex to everyone in his rolodex.

Also, most recent games:
Feb 12: Aces 3, Warriors 2
Feb 5: cancelled due to snow and lack of interest
Jan 29: Aces 5, Battlers 3