COTHL League Contraction Rumoured

In a move sure to cause controversy in the elite Cedarvale Oldtimers Hockey League, local team the Aces (full name: Aubrey's Himalayan Expeditions Black Aces Hockey & Social Club) has moved to have the four team league reduced to just two.

After once again soundly defeating the red-shirted Wyse Guys this past week, this time by a score of 10-4, the Aces crew appear to be solidly behind the move to contract the league.

Red, But Not White or Blue

Team pastry chef and 3-goal scorer Andrew T. explains: "This year we seem to be able to beat only the red team, so we're petitioning the league fathers to eliminate the other two teams. Pretty simple, really."

"This will only work, mind you, if players from the Battlers and Warriors squads are not permitted to join the Wyse Guys" said team lead guitarist and single goal getter Bob J. "That would defeat the whole purpose of this thing, which is to increase our chances of winning the championship this year."

"If our request is turned down" said team apiarist and 4-goal scorer Ralph R "then we have a backup plan. We've already filled out the forms for joining the new Rob Ford Memorial Ringette League for Overweight Women out in Etobicoke. I hear it's not very competitive, so we should be fine."

Other team members appeared non-committal, however. Single goal scorers Rich W and Paul F are both in favour of a 'wait and see' approach. "I think we should hold off for now" said team cryptologist Paul F "and see if we can carry this momentum into the Christmas shinny game next week. I think we may have turned a corner here." Rich W agreed, saying he also favoured the cautious approach. "Let's see how well we do in this meaningless game of pond hockey first. I've got a good feeling about this one."

Satriani 1, Aces 0

In his first visit to Toronto in many years, 80s guitar god Joe Satriani played to a nearly full Massey Hall last night and totally delivered the rock and/or roll goods. With a competent if unflashy backing band, Satriani ripped through some of the excellent new tunes on his recently released Black Swans and Wormhole Wizards disc as well as many old favourites.

Say what you want about the coolness of this kind of music these days, but Joe really puts on a great show. He's like some kind of guitar playing machine - he never puts a foot wrong, it seems. From fluid, legato lines to beefy metal power chords Joe is in total command of his instrument (a fleet of identical but differently-coloured Ibanez solid body guitars) at all times.

To wit:

In other news, the Black Aces did not apparently fare too well in their most recent contest. Sometime sniper Brian M compared the team's performance to that of the truck driver in this clip:

Hockey Leaks

From: North Korean Embassy, Toronto

To: Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il

Subject: North Korean Hockey Program

Security Level: Classified

Dear Leader, plan proceeding according to your most excellent wishes. Top secret spy program to secure secrets of Canadian hockey greatness will most definitely succeed!

Have found secret training camp for Canadian players of highest talent. Name: Cedarvale Old Timer Hockey League. Players very good, very fast. Team of Black Aces most dangerous of all teams. Demonstrate superior skills against Wise Men team with red shirts. Aces can last game defeat Wise Men so bad, they change name to Wise Girls! Scoring five for Aces zero for Wise team! Have secured film of game in new Super 8 style, and send to you quickly now!

Next game in 3 days, all operative in place to kidnap Black Aces team and transport back to Democratic People's Republic of North Korea to train DPRK national ice hockey team. Have injected after game alcoholic beverages with powerful sedative (English name: 'roofies') for easy and problem-free roundup.

Also B Plan ready! If Aces team lose next game then roofie dose double and Aces fly instead to DPRK Army Good Time Soldier Recreation Camp for train as comfort boys.

Also, top secret - Defending player and blog typist Jeff M not playing next game. Instead attend decadent rock music show of Italian-American guitar player Joe Satriani. Not matter. Other defense player can learn to give away puck too.